This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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