Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
