Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
