Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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