singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
There r osticjed everywhere
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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