when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
