just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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