His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
