I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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