dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
