So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Randomize
