And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
