My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize