Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
