your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
