You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
this beer tastes like vomit already
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
