apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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