You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
