bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
