i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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