I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
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