He is such a slut. More and more my type.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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