just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
