If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
