Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
