Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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