then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize
