Whoa Z and x make the same sound
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
