i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
