He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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