question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
