I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
