in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
