nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
