Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
