The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
