Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Duck Duck Cougar?
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
