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When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
You can't just leave with hair like that
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
