I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
