Your dad touched me again.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
porn star boner night. come get it.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
