I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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