I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
