Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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