The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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