Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
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