Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
