I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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