Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
