He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Life is so much better after having sex.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
