I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
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