Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
