you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
It's never too late to be topless.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
