How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
