walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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