worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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