Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize