Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
