do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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