The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
