I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
