babies were throwing up all over the place
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
