Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
