Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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