a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
