fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
