My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
