You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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