we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize