I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I've blown a few things in my day
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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