pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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