Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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